Hey everyone, take out a pen and paper. Now write ten things you don’t like about yourself. Go on, scribble away. Done? Great, wasn’t that quite easy?
Now go and write ten things you absolutely, fundamentally and definitely LOVE about yourself.
What’s that? Why are you looking around into the empty space and thinking so hard? Didn’t go beyond number 3 or number 4? Well, neither did I! But the question is- Why? Why can’t we easily state things we really love about ourselves? Why we can’t look at ourself and say- Wow! I am supercool, supremely talented and gorgeous.
Instead we are always trying to fault with ourselves- I am not thin enough, I am not able to multitask, I can’t cook Masterchef meals, I am not able to be the life of the party, I can’t engage my kids in craft activities all day long, I watch television way more than I should, etc, etc, etc.
I think this is true for most people but is absolutely the norm with us Moms.
From the moment we get pregnant, we start loading up on information about what to do for the baby, how the baby is going to be, what to eat for a healthy baby and once the baby is here it is all about feeding the baby, getting the baby to sleep and the physical and mental development of our children.
Why don’t we ever think about our growth as human beings, our identity as a woman and loving self?
For a long time, our society and culture has labeled SELF LOVE as narcissism, being selfish and evil. But if you can not love your self then how do you love anyone else? Even during airline safety demo, the air hostess instructs that we should first put the oxygen mask on our self before trying to help others.
When we moms are so hard on ourselves, trying to find fault with everything we do and look down at ourselves then why are we surprised when outsiders do the same to us. If you lack self-love and self acceptance then you will have low self-worth and low self-confidence and then how do you build up Self-esteem in your children?
Although giving your self away all the time, putting others before self and putting your needs on the backburner might seem like a good idea right now but it will soon lead to a burnout and a feeling of letdown by others ( when in reality you have let your self down). We often feel as if everyone including our family takes us for granted.
The reason is that we take ourselves for granted and look for self-worth from others when it needs to come from within.
Indeed, I have been guilty of neglecting my SELF for a long time, for letting my identity being limited to a mom, wife, daughter, friend, professional and so on but never trying to work on my relationship with myself. But it has been clear to me for some time now that I must nurture myself, find myself awesome and most of all BE MYSELF .
I often see my daughter look at herself in the mirror, admiring herself and even giving her reflection a kiss or two. When did I lose this enthusiasm for my own reflection? But now it is the time to look at the mirror and the world with the eyes of a child with love and enthusiasm for the world and myself.
Want to join me in the journey of self-discovery? As a first step go back again to the pen and paper and now –
What are the ten things you love about yourself as a Mom?
What do you love about yourself?
What do you really love about your life?
I would love it if you all share these lovely things with me through comments below and for now I am leaving you with a great quote by the great Naomi Wolf- “A Mother who radiates Self Love and Self-Acceptance actually vaccinates her daughter against low self-esteem”